I buried my new business in the backyard, remember? It was a ritual for consciously setting that work down in order to be fully present to a two-week holiday with my family. It had been almost a year of working every day, finding all the spare moments, to bring Curious Ground to life. It had been nine years since I took trip to Europe, since my oldest son was born. Reconnecting to travel itself felt like a reunion with a dearly loved friend.
When I came home I wasn't interested in jumping right back into Curious Ground. Had I stayed on the schedule I designed before our travels, I would be leading a group in the eight-week self-discovery-through-creativity course, The Groundwork. I love that course, the pilot run was thrilling to put out there and immensely enlightening to lead, so I found myself sitting in anxiety a bit- was I throwing that all away? Think of the waste, energetically and financially. Think of all the people I'll be letting down, what they'll think of me. I'll look so flaky, flighty, unreliable.
One of the biggest experiments of this past year has been to wait and see. This past year was not when I first learned about loving what is, about embracing the present moment, or practicing a willingness to sit in uncomfortable moments and feelings. It is the first time I decided to test it out as a practice instead of a comforting theory to hang onto. I told you that I worked and worked on developing Curious Ground this year, which is also true- I dedicated an incredible number of hours, and I followed reality's lead to do it. It honestly made a magical difference in my life, and I'm not one to toss about adjectives like magical.
Do you have teeny tiny babes at home right now? I think this might be the best baby gift I could give, the wisdom to trust the moment instead of what the books, websites, family and friends are telling you. Your baby should be napping at this time, you had a thousand loads of laundry and a shower for yourself in store, and that baby won't nap: trust the moment. You thought you'd nourish your babe with a bounty of organic and homemade baby food and it all gives them horrible gas? Trust the moment. Read the books, listen to the friends, fill your freezer with pureed butternut squash, all in good time. Oh gosh, I wish I had really heard this when I was swirling in the shame and guilt of it all.
The wait and see experiment was magical, so how could it be a mistake to wait and see when I'd dive back into Curious Ground? Kicking off the experiment, the perfect full-time job revealed itself to me, almost exactly as I'd imagined and described it. Friends, colleagues and surprising new connections popped up all over with invitations and intriguing avenues for what Curious Ground was becoming. The Universe was conspiring on behalf of this idea. I was facilitating events and producing videos that were so successful it startled me. The fear after returning to Curious Ground was, if I didn't know how all that magic happened in the first place then how could I possibly recreate it? I've probably lost it. Last September, almost to the day, I wrote, "Magic: the experiences that follow giving something one's full attention" Wait-and-seeing, AKA giving something one's full attention.
About a week ago when all of this started to make a little sense, I got a message from a favorite neighbor who invited me to work with her as a creativity coach. She knew about Curious Ground and wondered whether something like this could fit? I spent all week designing a plan for how this could work and learning so much, it was so exciting! Curious Ground is up and running again.